Starry Night

It was 2.10 in the morning and I still can't close my eyes. He was sleeping now, I guess. It was a bad day again for us, always like this, I dunno when can we stop arguing with each other, maybe letting you go was the only chance to make us better, that is what I think. It's always playin in my mind. But I know you won't let me do that because I'd already promise you not to mention that anymore. Maybe I was wrong about us, I know we've been close enough this year, but it seem so much trouble bothered us this moment. I am sad tho, you know how much I felt about you. I just can't describe it in words, to hard for me to explain it. You will never understand. Maybe someday I just have to let you free dear, maybe :')

Tonight was a movie night for me. I was out to cinema with my siblings and my brother in law. We watched Super 8, I kinda like the movie tho, it really suits my self, I meant the peculiar story line was exactly the kind of movie I like. I am glad the movie was great because I can forget you for awhile and our problems. But it is just for awhile tho. When I came back from the cinema, the feeling started to come back. I dunno why suddenly I look at the sky. It is a starry sky tonight and the moon, was a half moon, and the color of the moon was so weird, it was a bit orange. And I felt so peaceful when my eyes contemplate the view of the sky. It was magnificent. And I was so thankful to Allah for giving me chance to still live in this world. And I do have some quote that perfectly indicate my feeling on that moment :-

''Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.''

‘’You must be my lucky Star, ‘cause you shine on me wherever you are. I just think of you and I start to glow, and I need your light, and baby you know. Star light, star bright, star I see tonight. Star light, star bright make everything all right.’'

Only the lonely know the way I feel tonight.

Though I know he loves me, tonight my heart is sad; his kiss was not so wonderful as all the dreams I had.

I guess I don't have anything more to write about. I always love night more than day. Because only in the night we can truly understand who we are. Sweet bye now.

I wish you were with me. I wish.

Boredom Come and Gone Like A Ghost

Hello yellow people. Boredom strikes me a lot this holidays. Okay tell me now who does not like holidays? If they do, I swear I kill them. Holidays is awesome okay! school? Is super duper super duper loser. Fine, sometimes we do felt boring, felt sicken of doing the same thing over and over again. Wake up late every morning, skipping the breakfast, wasting time in the room one whole day, watching television until your eyes got swollen. That are a few negative facts about holidays. But can you please think again, you only got two precious week to spend on and you kept lecture on how long it is, two weeks is short people, yes it is short, indeed. So why not you use it wisely and be awesome instead of doing unhealthy things and keep mumbling about it, fair enough right? :)

I just got back from my family vacation, well I am not going to call it a family vacation tho coz not all my siblings are joining this vacation trip. Well we suppose to go to Sabah or Sarawak, but because of last minute plan and the flight price for this is like killing my father, we agreed to go to somewhere peaceful and green and cold and coolness, so Cameron Highlands it is then. Well the weather is not that cold during the days tho coz it is still Malaysia. But when the night came, the coldness is at its maximum point, even the hotel does not have any air conditioner, cool right? Hihi. Anyway I really had a good time there, because I rarely had happy time with my handsome daddy, so I quite enjoyed it.

My point for this post is a bit unclear, because I also don't really know why I made this post too. Hm maybe I just want to tell my hunny that I am sorry for ignoring you while you was happily watching the movie at the cinema right now. I am so sorry boo, I don't do this on purpose, I just really mad at you because you are taking the "loser" thing seriously. Maybe I am the one who started it, but I don't mean to be harsh on you or want you to be harsh on me. I just take it as a joke to make you laugh, but you seems to fight me back even more than I do. Silly me for being startled about this, I should just take it as a joke too, just like I did to you. I am sorry dear hunny. You are the only boy in my heart and you always will :') I heart you.

Good bye for now. Have a great days :)

Seize The Day Before The Time Regretting

June, not a good start for me, the feeling of guilt surrounds me.

Hi.

Everything was wrong about us, yes everything, if you just realize it. Why do we keep doing it, why?

I felt so wrong here and there event though I still hold your heart. I don't blamed you, no I don't. It's my fault too.

It just so sad though when you spent one day with someone you like and the whole evening you felt so happy but it ended up with us doing something wrong. Totally ruins everything. Oh my I just dunno what had happened to me. I really want to change to be a better, nice girl. It's so hard to keep a person heart forever but it is very easy to fall in love, and when you believe in someone so badly, it starting to be different. I hope we will change what us now and be the old us. I still like you, I do.

Cotento

Okay I know there are dust everywhere here in my blog for I do not write anything, for quite long time I guess. Not that I forgot my dearest blog, just I was to busy with mid year examination and so on. Teenagers life was not easy though, but yet it is simple and adventurous.

I miss writing and being a scribe even though I am not a professional scribe. Oh how rude am I for not saying hello to you and you, well then Hello and happy holidays. Holiday? The moment I've been waiting for so long. I am not a good students, well don't do much a doubt about it, what am trying to explain is, am not a kind of human being who love school. Oh urgh seriously I don't have any interest towards school, I just don't. It is already deathless in my veins, lol.

Let just say my exam was quite hard. That is what happened if you studied when the exam is just around the corner. I was just hoping I pass all the subject :) and I had done a photo shoot with my sister and I do have a few pictures that I like. I know I haven't posted any picture of me in this blog, but because am so happy today I want to upload some of them. Which had been taken on my sister, Nur Jawidah and my brother in law birthday celebration.

I will write more and more soon because it's holiday baby. Good bye for now :)

When I'm Sad I Stop Being Sad and Being Awesome Instead

Hi readers,

This few couples of days, my life was surrounded with sorrow and broken heart feeling, many things happened in once. My eyes was swollen when I woke up this morning then I cried again when I sit on my bed and look outside to the bright sun. All I can think on that moment was how am I suppose to do to forget you, yes I want to forget everything that we've done together, all of it, I wanted to forget about my suck life before and I wanna change to be a better girl.

I cried a lot and I don't want my family to notice it so I only cried before I sleep and after I woke up and when I'm praying to Allah. I've done a few things to forget you, I don't use my phone anymore, I promise I will never contact you although I'm missing you so badly that moment, I don't care, I want to forget everything. I want to be the old me who is never cared about boys and always do things on my own, I don't need anyone right now, I want to be lonely again because I love myself like that. Yes I want to change.

Starting today and tomorrow my truly best friends was all my SPM's books. And you too my lovely blog, the only place I can tell secret and my feeling, you're so awesome my dear blog :) I'm on a mission to deactivated back my facebook account, hmm but I still need social networking things to help me forget everything though. And tumblr was the most happiest place ever to reblogged all the post I love, yes tumblr made me feel happy and simply forget everything.

I also try to change my fashion style to a bit more vintage modern which the idea came from my dream, lol. But I still be me though, I won't change drastically. And I also promise myself no more boys in my life right now. Although I'm in a relationship right now, but I just want to make that as a status only, not that I don't love him, it just I need him to understand that I will become someone else after this, the old me who dunno anything about love feeling and sweet words or even what is love? Yes that's what I want. I still young and I want to live my teenagers life with awesomeness and wonderfulness. 

That's all for now though, from now on whenever I have empty time I'll type whatever I want to you blog. Good bye for now for I am going to continue my study and I don't even shower yet, eww me right? lol.

tatatututiti :)

With Love from -your daughter-

Good morning to all my lovelies. Especially to my beloved mother. Happy mother's day mama :')

Dear mother, I was very lucky to have you in my life, without you I don't even exist in this world. You've teach me a lot through all this years, and I'm sorry sometimes I don't listen to you and made bad things behind your back. I was just a normal teenagers with a heart of wanting to do everything new in my eyes. But now I realize everything I've done was a mistake and I really want to change to be a good daughter for you.

 I will make you proud of me mama, I'll promise. I love you to infinity and beyond and I meant it mama although I rarely talk to you about my feelings and my life, maybe I just thought I can handle it alone because I'm a big girl now, but I was wrong mama, I need you, you are the one who brought me to this world, you know me better mama, I can't lie to you. I'm sorry mama, I've done so many bad things, so many, and I'll try to change now. I love you mama and I'm crying when I'm typing this :') I will take care of you and always make sure you'll be healthy, I don't wanna lose you mama, please don't ever leave me :'( I love you with all my heart.

END

It's over I guess :') I will live my life with emptiness. But I have to move on, make people proud of me, especially my parents. Yes I've got to move on to the next chapter of my life. Nothing can cross me. I'm stronger than I thought I will be. Thank you for everything :'D I am waiting for you, always.